Broncos QB Russell Wilson seems in cringy Subway advert

Stop smacking like that!

Cease smacking like that!
Screenshot: dangerusswilson/Subway

Russell Wilson’s pure means to immortalize himself in memes is Corridor of Fame worthy. He has the viral contact, simply not in the way in which mainstream viewers would like it. All the things his tryhard persona touches conjures up the wrath of the web, mashups — and will get clicks. Typically it’s unfair. On sure events although, it feels just like the web led to the demise of somebody he was near and he’s made it his life’s mission to destroy it “from the within” since then.

Mission partially achieved. Today, Russ is an even bigger social media deterrent than Jackson Mahomes. Don’t do TikTok, children. The newest entry within the viral Russ archives stems from Subway’s Vault sequence on sandwiches named after NFL stars. The advert options Russ standing in a mannequin home someplace in a void past house and time and discussing his spicy new Subway “Dangerwich” — *audible groan* — with somebody who’s exterior the body. That’s the beneficiant interpretation.

The choice risk is that this wasn’t even a Subway advert, however Wilson’s consciousness disassociating from our actuality after that loss to Seattle in Week 1. Midway by his Subway advert, I anticipated the digital camera to pan round to the cashier’s counter at a fast-food joint as a confused worker informs him that he’s truly at Wendy’s.

His complete disposition and menacing tone distract from the sandwich. I believe Russ is pitching me on the sandwich, however I can’t inform if he’s additionally delivering a menace by subtext. The barefaced look provides to the uncomfortableness. Russ’ clean-shaven look might be why he didn’t change into a mainstay in Yankee spring coaching. Who’s concept was it to have him ship a monologue a couple of sandwich in a Belichick-sized hoodie? Russ appears to be like like he was not too long ago dedicated and spends his lunchtime speaking to individuals who gained’t pay attention concerning the sandwich he named after himself. The unique video has already been from Russ’ official TikTokay, however most likely so it wouldn’t get confused for a viral advertising and marketing marketing campaign for a shock season 3 of Netflix’s Mindhunters.

If you want high-brow sandwich content, Wendy’s has been putting on a masterclass on how to utilize athletes to promote your products. Reggie Miller exercising his squatter’s rights inside a Wendy’s throughout March Insanity and Reggie Bush’s exuberance over getting his Wendy’s Pretzel Bacon Pub Cheeseburger sandwich again (for a restricted time solely) is in stark distinction to Russ’ sandwich content material. On and off the sphere, watching Russ has by no means been extra cringeworthy. How can he carry a franchise deep into January when he can’t even carry a Subway advert anymore? That query says so much concerning the state of his model contemplating who the final Subway man was.

The concept of Hazard-Russ was a enjoyable, corny play on phrases that translated to his dangerous model of soccer. And but, I can’t cease watching. It’s nearly hypnotic how unhealthy it’s. At this level, I’m satisfied painful cringe-worthiness is his objective. Within the grand scheme, Russ could also be an auteur and method-acting savant who lives his roles in the identical vein as Sacha Baron Cohen. He most likely arrange a tripod, a Ring Mild, and simply let her rip. If Russ intends to sabotage the viral web discourse, he’s succeeding. That is his most insidious try but to punish us all for consuming media influencer content material.

Rahul Diyashi
News and travel at your doorstep.

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