Jimbo Fisher will get $86M if Texas A&M fireplace him

Texas A&M has a Jimbo Fisher downside. A colossal, nearly unfathomable Jimbo Fisher downside. Arriving in 2018 and heralding greatness, the Aggies have kind of sucked for Fisher’s complete tenure on the college — and 2022 is the best failure but.

Since arriving Fisher has led A&M to a 37-16 file, adequate for bowl video games, however not the lofty School Soccer Playoff desires the college had once they made him one of many highest paid coaches in school soccer. Now the Aggies are 3-2, with an embarrassing loss to Appalachian State, and getting blown out by Mississippi State — now dealing with down Alabama in what’s more likely to be one other embarrassment.

Generally it’s right here the place an athletic program would lower bait, fireplace the coach, and pivot to the longer term. Nevertheless, particulars have emerged on the completely hilarious bag Fisher would get in a buyout, making it prohibitively costly to ever think about reducing bait.

The Aggies would want to endure THREE MORE YEARS of Jimbo futility to get his buyout underneath $50M. In the event that they determined to do it now they’d be pressured to pay him nearly $86M, greater than the gross home product of the island nation of Tuvalu. I don’t understand how this was signed off on, but it surely was — and it’s completely comical.

Now it’s simply an effort in how a lot abuse Jimbo can endure. If he has no disgrace (and he doesn’t) then he’ll be completely pleased simply to sit down and get booed for 3 years, raking in cash, understanding he can construct a Scrooge McDuck coin pool on the finish.

Clearly it is a delicate, painful time for Aggies followers and we don’t need to rub it in. So let’s look ahead, let’s think about a distinct future. Let’s think about what A&M may spend $86M on as an alternative of firing Jimbo Fisher proper now.

Issues Texas A&M can buy for $86M as an alternative of paying Jimbo Fisher

Two islands within the Bahamas

For the low value of $50M the Aggies may purchase two Bahaman islands and nonetheless gave $36M left over. You recognize what makes every part really feel just a little higher? Attending to go to a non-public island.

As an alternative of forcing followers to endure weeks of ache, you fly them out to Chicken Cay and Cat Cay and go wild. As an added income stream for the college there shall be no shelter or facilities, simply an empty “fend for your self” tropical paradise, which we convert into the favored net present “Aggie Island.” Who wouldn’t watch Texas A&M followers battle to outlive within the tropics?

Then, with the income the present generates they’ll kick Jimbo to the curb in 2-3 years. Solves their teaching downside and they’ve two islands in addition.

— James Dator

33 Miles of freeway in Tuscaloosa, Alabama

As a result of the Aggies care a lot concerning the happenings of soccer in Tuscaloosa, proudly owning 33 miles of highway, say proper in the course of town, can be the A&M manner of dunking on the whole metropolis.

Thoughts you, no one within the metropolis of Tuscaloosa would care about this. They’ll shrug their shoulders and transfer on. However Aggie followers will shout praises and go in weapons blazing, as a result of they personal the factor Bama followers drive to work on!

— J.P. Acosta

An murderer

I’m not advocating the college ought to rent a educated killer to finish Jimbo Fisher, however I’ve a sense it could be loads cheaper than paying him $86M. On this plan we’s simply ask a former particular forces officer to scare Fisher sufficient to depart the state of Texas and by no means come again. He may vanish into coronary heart of Wyoming, open a modest ironmongery shop, develop a beard and go by the title of Gary Marcus. We’d even have the Aggies give him $10 million slush fund to start out his personal enterprise. We might by no means ever recommend that Texas A&M resort to violence. That will be so irresponsible.

— James Dator

Walter White’s complete fortune

Spoiler alert, however should you haven’t watched it at this level it’s sort of your personal fault, by Season 5 of Breaking Unhealthy Walter White has amassed a fortune of an estimated $80 million {dollars}, which is hidden away in a storage unit in Albequerque, NM. As an alternative of paying a washed up soccer coach to go away, why not assist a household man launder his meth cash?

One other Nuclear Reactor

As we realized just lately, Texas A&M has not one, however TWO, nuclear reactors on campus. Which appears extreme. However down within the SEC it simply means extra. In keeping with this report, when the College of Texas constructed their TRIGA Mark II reactor in 1992, it price $5.8 million. Whereas prices have definitely elevated since then, Texas A&M may construct one other TRIGA Mark II reactor with the cash.

As a result of you already know as soon as Texas finishes their transfer to the SEC they’re going to do every part they’ll to be aggressive.

Mark Schofield

The Batgirl Film That Warner Brothers Shelved

Followers wanting ahead to a brand new addition to the DC Prolonged Universe had been dissatisfied when the Leslie Grace led Batgirl film was canceled by Warner Brothers in August, regardless of being almost completed and prepared for launch.

I gained’t fake to know the monetary causes for canceling the discharge (you already know, the half the place they make cash again) of a film that has been, by all accounts, just about wrapped. Nevertheless, the reported price range for Batgirl was between $70-90M, that means you can theoretically purchase the rights and launch it. The world deserves to see Brendan Fraser as a supervillain.

A silly NFT

Final yr a bit of digital artwork by somebody named Beeple offered for $69,346,250 in a Christie’s public sale, instantly making Beeple one of many prime 3 Most worthy residing artists. In case you wished to shell out $70M for a jpeg of rainbow vomit that some have referred to as “a publicity stunt and a rip-off,” it could in all probability nonetheless be much less of a waste than spending it on Jimbo.

An English Soccer Membership

Now, $86 million is just not going to get you membership into the Premier League instantly. Texas A&M must convey an quantity to the desk with a further comma to affix that unique record.

However while you begin wanting down the decrease tiers of English Soccer, whether or not within the EFL Championship or right down to League One, potential arises. Current valuations of some golf equipment, similar to Carlisle United, Leyton Orient and Mansfield City in League Two appear to be choices for Texas A&M.

The college may even set their sights a bit decrease, and look to compete with Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney. The 2 actors bought Wrexham A.F.C. for $2.5 million in November of 2020, and the membership is now featured within the docuseries Welcome to Wrexham on FX and Hulu. Maybe the college may put in a bid for the Dorking Wanderers, or Dagenham & Redbridge, or Aldershot City, and put collectively a docuseries of their very own.

And win some soccer video games alongside the best way …

Mark Schofield

57,718,120 packages of CVS sweet corn forward of Halloween

As a result of frankly, should you’re going to choose it sixth total in a sweet draft, you’re going to need plenty of it.

— David Fucillo

Actually something however 57,718,120 packages of CVS sweet corn

I can’t imagine that needs to be mentioned … however right here we’re.

Mark Schofield

1,720 Dinners with Jay-Z

The estimated worth of a dinner with the best rapper alive can be $50,000, although some have (unsuccessfully) argued that this chance must be value way over that, however with the cash Jimbo is making you can actually have dinner with Hov daily for nearly 5 years.

I wouldn’t suggest it although. After the primary dinner he’s undoubtedly going to let you know to cease losing your cash speaking to him and use it for actually the rest. Properly…something that’s not shopping for 57,718,120 packages of sweet corn.

— Colb Hart

The Kiahuna Golf Course in Koloa, Hawaii

I’m unsure if Jimbo Fisher golfs, but it surely looks as if each coach does. Fisher isn’t any easy man, nonetheless. He gained’t solely need to golf, however purchase the whole course.

The Kiahuna Golf course has 18 holes and has a set of luxurious inns that Fisher can use at his leisure. That manner, in December whereas groups are taking part in within the School Soccer Playoff, Fisher can unwind on the golf course, as a result of there’s no manner in hell he’s making a playoff.

— J.P. Acosta

The complete Assault on Titan Season 4 Price range

Jimbo doesn’t strike me as an anime man. He in all probability would suppose Assault on Titan is a few convoluted play one among his fool coordinators thought up. Nevertheless, if Jimbo had been to take a dip into the world of Japanese animation, the Aggies may pay for the whole price range of Assault on Titan Season 4, arguably the very best season of anime ever created.

The Aggies would then transfer the sequence into modern-day Texas, and the titans can be these bitch ass hilljacks from Tuscaloosa. That manner, a minimum of Jimbo can beat Alabama in animation.

— J.P. Acosta

5 million copies of Soccer for Dummies

Possibly Jimbo can discover ways to run a contemporary offense by studying the ebook.

— J.P. Acosta

Rahul Diyashihttps://webofferbest.com
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